Microsoft’s Xbox Reveal statement in full.

24 Apr
Here is the official statement direct from Microsoft HQ:
“On May 21st, find out just how much Microsoft hates YOU, the consumer, when they finally throw us all a frickin’ bone to chew on, as they unveil their latest Orwellian nightmare to a world that has got so sick of waiting for information they’ve probably already pre-ordered a PS4.

“Hosted by blithering sycophant Geoff Keighley, brace yourself for a new era of high-definition advertising, where YOU, the consumer, are at the heart of every advert, enabling YOU to interact with your adverts using the new and improved Kinect 2.0, with enhanced eyeball tracking so Microsoft can see those tears of joy cascade down your rosy cheeks and recommend a box of Kleenex for you whilst playing Halo 5: Deathatron Reloaded

“Marvel at the lack of original IP! Be wowed by the soulless corporate greed as Microsoft abandon the very gamers that got them into this position within the industry in the first place. Behold your inabilty to play single player games without an internet connection and get ready as Microsoft rinse you for every fucking penny you have. You ain’t seen nothing yet… because you’ll need to subscribe to Xbox Live Gold in order to subscribe to all the other AMAZING services you can get elsewhere… and for far less money.

“Xbox Reveal. Sponsored by Nestle, Pepsi.Co, and Kraft. Coming May 21st. Exclusively live on Spike TV.”


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